Friday, November 20, 2015

Fear Of Being Alone

By reading this title, you're probably thinking this post has something to do with romance and being single for the rest of your life. That's not exactly what we're talking about today, though. Today's going to be focused on independence, dependency, loneliness, and personal growth. Sounds like a handful, right? Well, we better get started then!

First off, I think that fear of being alone or doing things alone plagues teenagers and young adults more than others. These are the people who have been dependent for most of their lives and getting to a point where you can do stuff alone is what becoming an adult is. Think of yourself right now. Would you get lunch in a school or college cafeteria by yourself? Would you go shopping alone? If you're thinking "hell no", that's fine! But that's why I'm writing this post. Since being in college, I've realized that while people think "hell yes, I'm a grown up now!" they're still not actually adults. 

Doing things alone seems like such an obvious, easy, thing, but it really isn't for most people! A lot of people I know don't like to do things alone. Especially eating alone. People tend to blame this on "shyness" or "insecurity", which may be true to an extent, but I think there's a deeper issue. Today we're so connected with others whether it's in person or through social media that even when we're alone, we're not actually alone because we're texting someone else, snapchatting someone... Social media has made some people so incredibly socially awkward in person and society today has made some people so afraid of taking initiative and actually doing stuff. 

Let's take an example from my personal life. The other day I walked through the downtown Reno to get to the Riverwalk because I wanted to check out some of the changing leaves and the river in some parks. I did that alone, and it was so worthwhile! It gave me some time to meditate, take pictures, de-stress, and connect back to nature and my inner-self. Would most people my age do that? OH HELL NO! I can picture the excuses like "oh, but it's so far" (aka laziness), "it's so dangerous" (lame excuse), "I don't know where it is" (that's why we have phones). 

I'm not saying that if you can't bring yourself to eat alone there's something wrong with you. I'm just saying that we all need to be a little more introspective. If these fears are what's keeping you from living your life, it's time to do something about it. Push yourself a little more each day. Maybe first it's sitting at a table alone at lunch if you're friends have already eaten before you. Then the next day go exploring alone. Soon you'll feel comfortable and independent, which is what life's all about. 

I have a gut feeling this post wasn't super helpful for most of you, and that's okay. If just one of you becomes inspired to take back your life and gain your independence, that will make me so happy. This is something that I'm working on myself, so there will be more posts and this will be an ongoing conversation between us! Let me know in the comments what your thoughts are on this topic and if you have any other topics like this you'd like me to cover!
-Sisi

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